Let me start by saying I love libraries. I even have a librarian in the family. What a fabulous concept- they let you take books- FOR FREE- as long as you promise to bring them back.  If you have a question- then a librarian will help you answer it.  And trust me- you can ask them some pretty random things. 

I’ve made weekly or bi-weekly trips since I was a wee kid and the books I checked out were mostly pictures. In all the years I’ve been a library user I’ve only lost one book.  I confessed, threw myself on their mercy and paid for the book.  Turns out this was a good thing because apparently the library can turn on you.

Woman Arrested For Overdue Books

My favorite quote from the article: “I said, what could they possibly do? They can’t arrest me for this… I was wrong,” Dalibor said.”

The Olympics are funny.  When they first start I find myself deeply invested in things that I didn’t care about the week before.  Suddenly, I NEED to see the outcome of a ping pong match. I’ll be yelling and screaming like I was related to one of the contestants. I’ll start making commentary about sports I know nothing about as if I was a professional “See what a big splash came up off that dive? That’s a deduction for sure.”   Then I’ll shake my head sadly, it’s always the entry on the dives that gets them. Keep in mind I am usually watching these events criticizing the athletes while sitting on the sofa eating chips.  The irony will escape me. 

Then slowly it happens.  I stop caring. It occurs to me that regardless if Bolivia or Poland win some random event, it will have no impact on my life.  Then I become resentful of events that strike me as stupid.  Speed walking?  I wonder if they know how stupid they look. They get a medal for that?  

Yes, it was time for the Olympics to end.  How about you: are you sad it’s over or happy?

*** My Final (gasp) Deb Post goes up today! See it HERE.

At the risk of sounding like an old fogey, I remember when MTV started. I watched it with my best friend Laura.  Video Killed The Radio Star was the first song and we discussed in great detail if this fancy pictures with music thing would catch on and if our dreams of being punk rock stars in London was as appealing as the idea of of being a video-DJ. 

One of the best things about joining the Girlfriend’s Cyber Circuit has been meeting all these great authors.  The only downside is that my to-be-read list grows ever longer.  Stephanie and I have several things in common: we both love MTV, music, Chicago and the X-Files.  Have I mentioned I met the two stars of the X-Files when they filmed here in Vancouver? Indeed I did, touched with greatness am I.  With no further ado I present to you- Stephanie Kuehnert!

First my standard interview questions:

1) I love to know the behind the scenes story- what was the inspiration for your book?

My love of music, particularly of female punk musicians, inspired this book. I got through my teenage years listening to bands like Hole, The Gits, Sleater-Kinney, L7, Babes in Toyland, PJ Harvey, and The Muffs. Their songs got me through the hard/sad/angry parts of my life. They were a huge inspiration to me and I wish I could do what they did, but I can’t play music, I don’t have the patience to really learn, and my singing shouldn’t really be heard outside of the shower, so I couldn’t pay tribute to the women I admired by following in their footsteps. Instead I decided to write a book about what it would be like if a woman ruled the rock scene. That woman is my character Emily Black.

2)  What do you like best about being a writer and what do you like the least?  

I love immersing myself in imaginary worlds. I’ve loved that since I was a little kid. And I love it when other people enjoy and find meaning in the worlds I’ve built. What do I like least? That the books I write can’t please everyone. I’m a perfectionist. Oh and I hate when I have writers block. Basically I hate anything that makes me doubt myself as a writer.

3)  What do you like to do when you’re not writing? 

 I love to listen to music and go to concerts, which is probably what people would expect from me given what I write. What they may not expect is that I also love to cook and discover great vegan recipes and I love to garden. My garden is such a stress reliever!

4) What was the last movie you saw? Love it or hate it? 

 I just saw the newest X-Files movie. I’m an X-Files fanatic so I loved it. Not as much as the first movie, but I still loved it and it made me miss Mulder and Scully.

5) How would people in high school have described you?  Is it the same as how you would have described yourself at that time? 

Oh god, it depends on who you talk to. My teachers thought I was smart, but troubled, which was true. “That crazy punk girl” is probably what a lot of people would have said. Again, true. I was punk and at sometimes definitely crazy. Then my best friend and I ran into a guy we knew at a dinner a few years after high school and he told my best friend, “I always thought of you as the angry one” and pointed at me and said, “And you as the sad one.” I replied, a little bit miffed, “I was the angry one and the sad one.” Yeah, HS was a tough time, but I made it through!

ABOUT THE BOOK 

I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone (MTV Books; July 2008; $13.00) is a raw, emotional story about growing up punk and living to tell from brilliant debut novelist, Stephanie Kuehnert.

 Sid Vicious isn’t exactly a role model in the wholesome, small town Midwest.  Neither is Louisa Carson-Black, who has earned the position of the proverbial black sheep of Carlisle, Wisconsin by hightailing it out of town to pursue the punk rock scene.  After all, what go better together than the restlessness of youth and punk rock? The only problem is that in her exodus, Louisa leaves behind her four-month-year-old daughter Emily…

As Emily is raised by her father, the only way she gets to know Louisa is through her abandoned records.  It’s no CBGB’s, but Emily witnesses the evolution of punk in an old warehouse called River’s Edge, and she even develops some fist-pumping, anarchist mannerisms of her own.  Although Emily would like to pretend that it is, her life is certainly no carefree “Blitzkrieg Bop.”  Deep down inside, she has a burning need to find her mother.  Emily sets out to follow the musical trail that Louisa leaves behind, which ends up leading her to fame and glory that she never imagined!

If Louisa wants to live on the cutting edge of punk rock, then what better way to attract her than to be the next best thing in punk?  Emily realizes that she has to become Sleater-Kinney’s “queen of rock and roll” to bring her mother back to her.  Emily transforms into punk royalty as she starts up her own widely acclaimed band She Laughs.  The last thing that she wants is be taken for granted by her mother, but when the music does eventually guide Louisa to Emily, Emily discovers that there is whole lot more to Louisa’s flight than just youthful impulsivity!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Stephanie Kuehnert works at the University of Illinois Chicago College of Nursing, but is a writer through and through.  She has published short stories, interviews, and essays in Hair Trigger and No Touching magazines, as well as for websites such as inkstains.org, freshyarn.com, and Virginia Quarterly Review.  She was recently named to the Lit 50, the list of Chicago’s hottest writers by NewCity, the renowned list also includes Studs Terkel, Elizabeth Berg, Scott Turrow, Aleksandar Hemon, and Audrey Niffenegger. Stephanie received her Bachelor’s in Fiction Writing at Columbia College in Chicago, and went on to earn her master’s degree there in 2006.  She was awarded Third Place in Traditional Fiction by the Columbia University Scholastic Press Association for “Fairytale”, an excerpt from her novel I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone.  Stephanie currently lives in Forest Park, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, with her boyfriend and three cats.  Stephanie’s heart and soul will always reside in Chicago, and her up-and-coming work Ballads of Suburbia has been divinely inspired by the Windy City.

I like to think of myself as a suave woman about town. Sure I know deep inside I still have my inner dork, but generally I like to think of myself as pretty nifty these days.  Then I come across stories like this one.  

The opening lines of this story alone is worth a mention: “A giant inflatable dog turd brought down a power line after being blown away from a Swiss museum. The artwork, entitled Complex Shit, was carried 200 metres on the night of 31 July, reportedly breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again.”

I would love to make the insurance claim for this one. “Yes sir, you heard me right, a giant dog turd caused the damage to my home.” I also love that inflatable dog poop is art.  I can imagine a couple looking at in the museum and her saying “I think it would look great in the living room, right below the painting we inherited from your side of the family.” 

Thanks go out to Tara from NC who sent me this story. I love that I am the kind of person others want to share their inflatable poop stories with.  I’m touched.  I really am.

Two things I didn’t expect: first the good news, followed by the odd. 

I got the first blurb for my new YA  What Would Emma Do?   One of my favorite writers, Jacqueline Mitchard (author of Deep End of the Ocean and The Midnight Twins), said “Not since Judy Blume’s Margaret introduced herself to God has there been such a a funny, genuine, conflicted, Wanna-Be-Sorta-Good-Maybe-Later girl as Emma in Eileen Cook’s new novel, ‘What Would Emma Do?’  Cook’s tone as she takes on the big ones — life, love, faith and friendship — is pitch perfect.”  

Oh yeah. Not only did one of my favorite writers like it- she compared me to another one of my favorite writers- Judy Blume.  I can live on that happiness for some time to come. I’ve memorized the blurb and am finding casual ways to sneak it into the conversation. If you haven’t read Ms. Mitchard’s young adult novels you should check them out. I absolutely LOVED Now You See Her.  It’s got a great sneak ending. 

Now for odd things I didn’t expect.  Have you ever fantasized about doing in your significant other? Poison perhaps? A stiletto to the head, knife fight, maybe a nice clean gun shot?  Well check this out. This woman killed her husband with their folding couch. When he wouldn’t get up off his drunken bum she shut him up in the sofa and he died.  Apparently couch potato status can be deadly.  Who knew? 

Anything new and unexpected in your lives these days?

I am thrilled to welcome Megan Kelley Hall here today. When I heard about her book I put it right on top of my to-be-read list.

Megan sat down and answered some questions for me:

1) I love to know the behind the scenes story- what was the inspiration for your book?

 Here’s my elevator pitch for SISTERS OF MISERY: A Modern Day Witch Hunt is Ignited When “Mean Girls” Meets “Practical Magic”.  What happens when a hazing prank goes terribly wrong and a young teenage girl goes missing? The debut  suspense novel, SISTERS OF MISERY, brings us inside a small, seaside town near Salem, where Maddie Crane, the teen protagonist investigating her eccentric cousin’s disappearance, ignites the wrath of the Sisters of Misery – a powerful high school clique, whose activities mirror the witch hunts of the seventeenth century. Hawthorne is a town filled with secrets and the supernatural. Stories hidden for decades come to light after Cordelia’s tragic disappearance. Cordelia’s mother, Rebecca, descends into madness while internal struggles amongst Maddie’s family members are all consequences of the supernatural “gifts” that they possess. Maddie Crane must choose between the allure and power of the Sisters of Misery and her loyalty to her beloved cousin and her own family. Fans of Alice Hoffman, Jodi Picoult and Stephenie Meyer will be haunted by this story of three generations of women and their struggles against each other and a town ruled by fear.

2)  What do you like best about being a writer and what do you like the least?  

 The best part is hearing what people think of my writing.  Even if it never gets published, there’s that sense of satisfaction that I was able to hold someone’s attention and entertain them for a little while; provide an escape from their every day life.

The worst parts are the blank page and revisions!

3)  What do you like to do when you’re not writing? 

 Read, watch television, spending time with my daughter and husband. And, lately, I’ve become obsessed with making beaded crochet bracelets.  I’ve made hundreds of them!

4) What was the last movie you saw? Love it or hate it? 

 I watched the movie, THE RUINS. It was creepy, but a little too gory for my taste. I prefer psychological thrillers.

5) How would people in high school have described you?  Is it the same as how you would have described yourself at that time? 

 Quiet, aloof, a little flighty and spacey at times (usually because I was always smiling and often got caught up in a daze of my own thoughts).  I was definitely quiet in high school. It wasn’t until college that I became more of a social person (which had its good and bad points). Life is often easier when you fly below the radar.

Here’s what others have to say:

“Sisters of Misery definitely stirs your soul and keeps you reading hoping to find some conclusion to so many mysteries. Interesting! Sisters of Misery is a story that will grab you and not let go. You will be anxiously awaiting the next book in hopes that many of your questions will be answered. Good job.”

-Shirley Johnson/Senior Reviewer, MidWest Book Review

“There’s no doubt Hall knows how to write one heck of a creepy gothic novel. She pushes the limits with disturbing plot points in this scary, fast-paced story.”

            -Romantic Times Book Reviews

”Shivery…Megan Kelley Hall hits one over the fence with her debut novel — a true Gothic that skillfully combines the dangerous mischief of a modern clique with the bad girls whose prank-gone-mad ignited the Salem witch trials.”
-Jacquelyn Mitchard, bestselling author of The Deep End of the Ocean and The Midnight Twins 

”Original, insightful, and scary. Megan Kelley Hall writes with an intense, frightening grace that will have you turning pages long into the night.” –Michael Palmer, New York Times bestselling author of The First Patient and Extreme Measures

Sisters of Misery gave me the chills. It’s a frightfully great read, and when it all comes together, it’ll leave you feeling as if a cold, dead hand were crawling all over your body. Ms. Hall has definitely renewed my love of the Gothic novel—and I’m already looking forward to the second book in the series, The Lost Sister.”

            –Nights and Weekends.com

I spent last week with my four year old niece. Now, I may be a bit biased, but I think it is quite possible she is the cutest, smartest and most clever four year old out there.  I learned a lot from hanging with the four year old set for a week while my sister in law recovered from knee surgery.  These include in no particular order:

1. There is no such thing as too early when you are four. The whole day awaits you if only the lazy adults in your life would get a move on.  Often I would hear the door open, the patter of small feet and then her breath on my cheek.  When I would open my eyes she would whisper “I’m not allowed to wake you up- but if you were up- we could play.”
2. Anything that is fun is worth doing over and over. We played one game that consisted entirely of covering her in a mountain of stuffed animals and then saying in a loud voice- “Where is Sydney?” She would then pop up. This was endlessly amusing. She could have played this for hours if only I had been able to do it without wanting to stick a fork in my own eye after 40 or so minutes of this game.
3. If you don’t want something repeated- don’t say it in front of a four year old. If the US wants to perfect its spy program they should set out a fleet a four year olds. They have perfect hearing and recall. 
4. Four year olds are fearless. This child would hurl herself off anything at anytime. The word fear is not in her vocabulary list.  She also seemed to bend in ways that I am pretty sure would land me in the hospital if I were to try it.
5. Naps are not a nice thing, they are required. Four year olds who don’t get a nap can turn on you. They can go from cute and adorable to Exorcist in two seconds flat. 
6. At a young age they have a clearly defined sense of what they like and what they don’t. I was driving my sister in law’s car which is significantly larger than my bug (that is I could park my car inside hers), as a result it took me awhile to master the beast.  For the first day I stopped a bit short a few times. When we exited the car I was told “Auntie Eileen.. you are one crazy stopper.”   She also informed me that she thought it was very nice that fire rescue workers save people and all, but they are too loud. 
7. Young women will have no gender barriers. When I called someone a policeman my niece corrected me in no uncertain terms- they are police OFFICERS, not men, girls can be police officers if they want.  Take that glass ceiling.
8. Cold hotdogs can be a gourmet delight.
9. People who make loud toys should be taken out and dragged across fields of broken glass. My niece has this toy that is an electronic piano and a microphone. It is possible that the volume level is set to ear bleeding. I began to hate that toy. 
10. The song- The Wheels of the Bus Go Round and Round- can be quite catchy after you’ve heard it a few hundred times. 

I was gone all last week, first to San Fransisco for the RWA conference and then down to North Carolina to visit family.  

San Fran was fantastic! The only problem with the conference, in my opinion, is that there are so many people to see and only so much time. 

Then came the flight to North Carolina. Why do you hate me United Airlines?  Why?  I was scheduled to take the red eye. We got onto the plane with no trouble and I had even managed to score a bulkhead seat which meant I had a few valuable extra inches of room. I foolishly thought that things would go well. We sat on the plane for two hours. They had forgotten to clean out the “waste tanks” and as a result we had to wait.   Apparently it was a lot of waste.  Two hours later we finally leave. Of course this means I’ve missed my connection in Chicago. sigh.  It’s 7am and I’m in Chicago not having slept yet. 

The United people (excuse me: their phone support; God help you if you want to speak to an actual person, in person) said the first flight they could get me on was at 7pm that night. They expect me to spend TWELVE hours in airport.  I ask if I can go to the fancy schmancy lounge for premiere members since I will be there so long. Their answer? Care to guess? No.  Not unless I’m willing to pay for the privilege. My theory is I PAID TO BE ON A PLANE! and I shouldn’t have to pay twice. Nada. So I ask for a food coupon since I will be there ALL DAY and they tell me that it is the discretion of a desk agent. This means I have to find a desk agent. I swear if the United people see you coming they whip off that blue vest and act like they don’t work there.  When I finally found a desk agent they told me they were all out. Sigh. Thanks for offering to go and find one. Oh wait, you didn’t offer. 

So I pay to go sit in the fancy lounge where at least the loudspeaker isn’t going off every 2 minutes. I attempted to sleep. It is possible I became delusional from lack of sleep. I finally made it to my sister in laws house, said hi and crawled into bed.  I did manage to send an email to United customer service telling them I wasn’t happy. That was nearly a week ago and I haven’t heard from anyone.

I am not done yet. I plan to hound United until I get my money back for the fancy lounge.  It is inhumane to leave someone in O’Hara airport with no sleep for hours on end. They didn’t even offer to buy me a greasy meal (shakes fist at sky). Look, I get that flying isn’t supposed to be fun anymore, but I am starting to think that they are actively trying to make it painful.  This is not the first time it has happened to me either. I am starting to think it may be United. It may be time to switch airlines and give someone else a chance to disappoint me in the customer service department.

Oh did I mention that my luggage didn’t arrive for an additional day? Because nothing says fun like wearing the same clothing you’ve had on for three days.

Does anyone like flying?

I saw this story and was appalled for two key reasons. 

This man in an effort to score some free gas agreed to name his son after two radio hosts as a part of an on air contest they were having. 

1) I really think that if you want free gas you should change your own name and not choose to saddle your kid (who can’t even drive yet) with the name.  This I feel bodes very badly for other key parenting decisions this fellow will have to make. 

2) The guy whores out his kid’s name (which the kid will have for LIFE mind you) for a $100 gas card. $100. So not only is the guy a bad parent, he’s a lousy business person too if you ask me.  $100 won’t even fill up his car these days.  Some car dealerships are giving away free gas for a year for crying out loud. You would have thought he could have held out for at least a few hundred bucks worth of gas. 

I love this quote from the article: “(His wife said) this is his problem to explain when the child is older,” Greg Stevens, WHTQ-FM program director told Reuters.”

So would you sell out your kid’s name for $100 gas card? What about if they threw in a free Slurpy? 

Trolling the internet superhighway I found THIS.  At last your baby fashion crisis solved: a place to buy high heeled shoes for your baby. Now perhaps you didn’t think your baby needed to be wearing high heels, but honestly she needs to lengthen the appearance of her legs if she plans to distract from those chunky thighs she’s got going.  You’re raising a daughter not a butterball turkey.  

Once you realize how there was this huge void of no high heels for babies you recognize that there are many other fashion holes for the infant set. Baby thongs, baby tube tops, baby hot pants, baby ball gowns with cleavage enhancing necklines. 

So many business opportunities, so little time.